You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize