So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
