you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
only you would photoshop your dick
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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