I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
