I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
