At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize