help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
