If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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