I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
