its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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