my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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