when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
True strength comes from lack of pants
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
