my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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