so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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