weddingsv make me drug and hornr
one might say we're banned from that church
Sober January is a disaster.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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