I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
are you so shy because you have an std?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
