Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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