Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
