I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
