im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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