We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
