we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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