I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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