When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
