so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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