i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
