This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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