Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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