i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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