dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We are all done wearing pants today
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize