New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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