theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Randomize
