What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
