I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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