They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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