well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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