If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
love makes seman taste better
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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