our cab driver is having phone sex.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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