Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize