he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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