All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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