I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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