now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Im part way to drunk.
Randomize
