Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
