you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize