Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
