I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
