Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
