I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
did i walk over a car last night?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
