Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the day after is always just damage control
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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