I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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