My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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