spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
