you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
