Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
