i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
