Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
