sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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