At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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