I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My Higher Power is John Stamos
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
