u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
