i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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