i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
