Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
