Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize