names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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