You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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