you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
