dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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