'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
